Embarrassed

So, last night I had a very humbling, embarrassing, mortifying, helpless (did I mention humbling and embarrassing) toddler parenting moment?!?!  You get where this is going!

Ironically, I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my MOPS meeting back in September at which Michelle Duggar spoke.  I took in everything she said like a sponge that day.  But, like many other things in life, time passes and things are no longer fresh on our minds.  Six months later and having a strong-willed, somewhat rebellious two year old on my hands, I revisited all of the material that she gave out to all the mommies that day.  It never hurts to refresh the memory.  I have been trying hard to implement some of the principles that Michelle talked about like demanding that your child look you in the eyes when you speak to them.  Like discipling Cilla in private and praising her ten-fold in public.  Like teaching her Godly character qualities such as being kind to people, being obedient, and having self-control.

Well, last night I was put to the test in front of my mommy mentor herself!  That's right....Last night right there in Wal-Mart in front of Michelle and one of her older girls, Jessa I think it was!  

I was reaching for something on a shelf and right about that moment it registered with me who was walking toward me.  {Cue Cilla whining to get out of the cart.}  Thoughts starting running through my head.  She is watching me (Michelle, that is).  I can't cave in and let Cilla have her way.  I MUST make my child obey me.  So what did I say?  "Cilla, mommy needs you to look me in the eyes."  The fussing got louder and I started to feel like I was having an out-of-body experience.  I wanted to run and hide but I couldn't hide, the crying was too loud!  Of course she was doing everything but looking me in the eyes!  I continued, "Cilla, I need you to sit down in this cart (she was standing in the cart by this point.)  Mommy needs you to listen and obey."  I was trying to stay calm but still have a firmness in my voice.  But, the crying turns to screaming as I try to sit her in the front of the cart.  Geez!  At this point I am mortified and the Duggar ladies had passed, so what do I do but let her out of the cart.  Yes, I gave in!!!  There, I admit it!  Right there in Wal-Mart the Lord worked on me.  I learned that it doesn't matter what people I am around  or what anyone thinks- I have to stand by my convictions as a parent.  I have to demand respect and obedience no matter where I am.  Even it means walking out of the store; even if it is not the easy choice to make.  I also have to tell myself that even Michelle has moments like I had, it is just all in how we handle those moments!  I am not perfect and she is not either.   

I finished shopping for my short list of items and found myself walking out of the store with the Duggar ladies.  I wanted to pour out my soul and apologize and make excuses.  Instead, I took it as a lesson learned and walked away a better mom (hopefully!)  I politely spoke and went on my way.  Funny how the Lord works.  Needless to say we are still working on teaching Cilla about self-control.  But, hey, aren't we all in need of a little more?!?!