Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Embarrassed

So, last night I had a very humbling, embarrassing, mortifying, helpless (did I mention humbling and embarrassing) toddler parenting moment?!?!  You get where this is going!
Ironically, I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my MOPS meeting back in September at which Michelle Duggar spoke.  I took in everything she said like a sponge that day.  But, like many other things in life, time passes and things are no longer fresh on our minds.  Six months later and having a strong-willed, somewhat rebellious two year old on my hands, I revisited all of the material that she gave out to all the mommies that day.  It never hurts to refresh the memory.  I have been trying hard to implement some of the principles that Michelle talked about like demanding that your child look you in the eyes when you speak to them.  Like discipling Cilla in private and praising her ten-fold in public.  Like teaching her Godly character qualities such as being kind to people, being obedient, and having self-control.
Well, last night I was put to the test in front of my mommy mentor herself!  That's right....Last night right there in Wal-Mart in front of Michelle and one of her older girls, Jessa I think it was!  
I was reaching for something on a shelf and right about that moment it registered with me who was walking toward me.  {Cue Cilla whining to get out of the cart.}  Thoughts starting running through my head.  She is watching me (Michelle, that is).  I can't cave in and let Cilla have her way.  I MUST make my child obey me.  So what did I say?  "Cilla, mommy needs you to look me in the eyes."  The fussing got louder and I started to feel like I was having an out-of-body experience.  I wanted to run and hide but I couldn't hide, the crying was too loud!  Of course she was doing everything but looking me in the eyes!  I continued, "Cilla, I need you to sit down in this cart (she was standing in the cart by this point.)  Mommy needs you to listen and obey."  I was trying to stay calm but still have a firmness in my voice.  But, the crying turns to screaming as I try to sit her in the front of the cart.  Geez!  At this point I am mortified and the Duggar ladies had passed, so what do I do but let her out of the cart.  Yes, I gave in!!!  There, I admit it!  Right there in Wal-Mart the Lord worked on me.  I learned that it doesn't matter what people I am around  or what anyone thinks- I have to stand by my convictions as a parent.  I have to demand respect and obedience no matter where I am.  Even it means walking out of the store; even if it is not the easy choice to make.  I also have to tell myself that even Michelle has moments like I had, it is just all in how we handle those moments!  I am not perfect and she is not either.   
I finished shopping for my short list of items and found myself walking out of the store with the Duggar ladies.  I wanted to pour out my soul and apologize and make excuses.  Instead, I took it as a lesson learned and walked away a better mom (hopefully!)  I politely spoke and went on my way.  Funny how the Lord works.  Needless to say we are still working on teaching Cilla about self-control.  But, hey, aren't we all in need of a little more?!?!

12 comments:

The Niemeyer Nest said...

Oh dear, that is embarassing but it happens to us all. Evie had at least 4 different tantrums out in public this morning. She was fussy but we had to be out of the house for two hours since the bug man came and I just kept going. Her worst fit was in Sherwin Williams and a nice mom gave her a car to hold since she was not at all interested in me. I bet even Michelle Duggar has moments like both of us with her two year olds. You can not reason with a 2 year old and they do not always follow our lead. I am embarrassed to say how I dealt with it after 4 tantrums but it involved some yelling in the car. YIKES! Not too effective in the long-term but it bought me some time to collect my thoughts. Hope today is better for you!

Heather said...

That is SOOOO something that would have happened to me! I always find myself in my "most embarrassing moments" right when there are the people around that I really want to impress the most. But then of course I hear God saying "WHY?" "Who should you really try to be impressing?" And of course He is right and it should be about pleasing the Lord and not men. But I sure do relate to you and to this. Just today I was having trouble with my Avery Kate and the shopping cart....:)

Shannon said...

OH MY!!! I'm sorry for laughing but that is so funny that they were on the same aisle right at that very moment!! I could so see that happening to me. We are entering the throwing fit stage. Westin is obsessed with balloons and just yesterday in Walmart I did my shopping with a SCREAMING, kicking, red faced child because he didn't get a balloon that we passed. I think my face was probably just as red from embarrassment. HAHA

Jenna said...

Oh girl! I feel for you! But cool that you got to see Michelle again. =)

The Allens said...

Oh Rebekah! That was such a sweet post. You are a wonderful mother and I know it hurts your heart when you feel like you aren't. Keep on doing an awesome job and letting God guide you.

Katie said...

Rebekah ~ Wow, that is crazy! That was definitely a "this only happens to me" moment where all of us have been. ; )

I'm sure Michelle was not even looking. ; ) Hang in there! Z has been in a difficult stage for about 6 months! You're not alone, girl.

You're a wonderful mom, and Cilla is so lucky to have you.

The Disheroons said...

Too, Funny. It happens to every mom. Your kids will always act the worse when you really are trying to make a good impression. Don't sweat the small stuff it could have been much worse. I could give you all kinds of example but I am sure you don't want to hear about my stories. hehehe Just remember you can do all things through Christ. We are going to make it through these toddler years.

Cory said...

Aww! That has happened to us all. Toddlerhood has some hard days. I am trying to work with my little guy who is 2 1/2, and he has not been real receptive at times. Ha! And even at the Duggar house I know that Michelle can't always be around to be in charge, and some of the older girls have admitted to not being as patient as Jill. LOL! :-) I bet you were doen your best.

Lilly, Reid, Matt, and Sara said...

We have all been there! Michelle duggar has probably been there so many times that she either didn't notice or was glad it was happening to somebody else!! Haha!

Linds said...

that totally would have happened to me. And you know I know where you're at with a strong willed toddler-- Brayden's about as strong willed as they come! A friend of mine once told me that the characteristics that you want in a doctor or lawyer, suck in toddlers... I tell myself that daily as I have to deal with the will.

~aj~ said...

I'm sorry for your embarrassment, but that is just TOO funny! I'm always hoping for a Duggar siting...if only it could be when my kids are being angels. :)

PS Thanks for visiting my blog! I saw that I read a lot of the blogs of NWA women that are friends with, but as soon as I saw your daughter's name I knew it was familiar and I think it's because you are friends with Amber Ham and she blogged about you guys before. We went to high school together (I was good friends with her brother) and she's very close with my mom (her old Home Ec teacher). Small world!

~aj~ said...

Please ignore my typos. Not a good way to make a first impression. :)